virgin: a case for reclamation
Virgin cocktail, virgin Mary, virgin bride. We hear the word plenty, sometimes in praise, and sometimes in whispers - "I heard ____ isn't a virgin anymore". The word is often thrown around to shame heterosexual cis men for being one and to shame women for not. For most of us, when we hear the word virgin we think of sex and whether or not a person has ever been sexually active. But is that all the word means? Is that even the originally definition?
Before I dive in I should disclose, I am no etymologist or linguist. I have not sat through 4+ years of classes on the history of language and will not pretend I am an expert. However, I do understand enough to be curious about how words change over time, and what happens to entire societies when they do.
According to Merriam-Webster the varying definitions of the word "virgin" as a noun are as follows:
a person who has not had sexual intercourse
a person who is inexperienced in a usually specified sphere of activity
an unmarried woman devoted to religion
an absolutely chaste young woman
an unmarried girl or woman
a female animal that has never copulated
While there are more definitions possible through other resources such as the Oxford English Dictionary, there is enough overlap that I feel comfortable only using the 6 definitions listed above. There are 3 main languages to review when trying to decide which of these definitions, if any, most closely resemble the original meaning of the word. These include Latin, koine Greek, and Hebrew.
Our modern word "virgin" stems from the Old French virgine. That word is actually rooted in the Latin virginem (nominative virgo) which can be translated as "maiden, unwedded girl or woman". Interestingly, despite the word maiden defined as "a girl or young woman, especially an unmarried one" in the Merriam-Webster dictionary, websites like Wikipedia draw the conclusion that the Latin virginem somehow implies "a sexually intact young woman". I see no explanation by these websites to justify this.
Now that we have a better understanding of the Latin definition, we turn to the Greek. The word parthenos is the common or koine Greek word historically used and translated as "virgin". The word parthenos can be used in a number of ways including in reference to the constellation Virgo, to indicate a Genus of butterfly, or to describe goddesses like Athena, Persephone, or Hera. Most importantly (in the context of this discussion) the word parathenos has also been used as a translation of the Hebrew word Almah.
This is where things get interesting. (Yes, we are going to geek out about words and even talk about the Christian bible for a sec.) Let's face it, the reason why we're having this discussion right now is predominantly thanks to good-old-fashioned conservative Christian values. So why is the idea of virginity such a big deal to Christians and why does proper translation of historic literature matter so much? Well, if something is mistranslated (intentionally or unintentionally) and that mistranslation gets passed down for generations, it's going to change the way we think, feel, and understand that thing.
In the Christian bible, the passage Isaiah 7:14 is significant in that it proclaims the coming of of Jesus through a "virgin" mother. In three separate versions of the bible the passage reads:
NIV: Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel.
KJV: Therefore the Lord himself shall give you a sign; Behold, a virgin shall conceive, and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel.
ICB: But the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will be pregnant. She will have a son, and she will name him Immanuel.
In each of these passages the word "virgin" is used to describe the mother of Jesus. Originally written in Hebrew, the word "virgin" would have actually been Almah, meaning "young woman". There are several other instances in the bible where the Hebrew word Almah has been translated to "virgin" in English, even though the unrelated Hebrew word betulah is the actual word for "virgin" in the modern sense.
So what does this all mean? Well, for starters, it means that in the Christian religion Mary was not a virgin in the modern sense, but rather a maiden or unmarried young woman. It also means that the word "virgin" isn't all that we've been raised to think it is.
Historically, the term "virgin" has been used to describe many goddesses as a way of defining their independence. Conveniently, this concept of "virgin" as independent, self-satisfying, or self-owned has been erased in nearly every aspect of our life, including with these powerful deities. As with most things feminine, the original power and strength has been stripped away and replaced with a watered down, patriarchy-approved definition that seeks to dominate and control.
We are taught that to be virgin is to be untouched and to be untouched is to be whole and that once the cloak is lifted between these two worlds there is no undoing it. We "lose" our virginity, we give it away, it is stolen from us. This idea of virginity as being sexually in-tact has turned women into objects to buy and sell and steal. It's time to reclaim our power.
If to be virgin is to be unwed, unbound, independent, how do we reshape the way we think about our value? And, if to be virgin is to be untouched, how do we redefine ourselves to break the bonds of male ownership over our own sexuality?
What do you think: Does the word matter? Do you think it's possible to reclaim a word so often used to cause harm and cast judgement? How do we break the societal standard and take back ownership of our own sexuality?
Take from this what you will. I'm not sure how realistic it is to return the word to its ancestral roots but I do think it's important to understand its origins regardless. For me, it's just another misshapen bit of history that has been forced down our throats to trick us into thinking to be woman is to be powerless and to be owned. It's time to expose that lie.
Maybe we can't reclaim the word, but we can reclaim our sexuality.